-
Notifications
You must be signed in to change notification settings - Fork 0
/
Copy pathDrawer8Part1.txt
1425 lines (1083 loc) · 44.4 KB
/
Drawer8Part1.txt
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
374
375
376
377
378
379
380
381
382
383
384
385
386
387
388
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413
414
415
416
417
418
419
420
421
422
423
424
425
426
427
428
429
430
431
432
433
434
435
436
437
438
439
440
441
442
443
444
445
446
447
448
449
450
451
452
453
454
455
456
457
458
459
460
461
462
463
464
465
466
467
468
469
470
471
472
473
474
475
476
477
478
479
480
481
482
483
484
485
486
487
488
489
490
491
492
493
494
495
496
497
498
499
500
501
502
503
504
505
506
507
508
509
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
518
519
520
521
522
523
524
525
526
527
528
529
530
531
532
533
534
535
536
537
538
539
540
541
542
543
544
545
546
547
548
549
550
551
552
553
554
555
556
557
558
559
560
561
562
563
564
565
566
567
568
569
570
571
572
573
574
575
576
577
578
579
580
581
582
583
584
585
586
587
588
589
590
591
592
593
594
595
596
597
598
599
600
601
602
603
604
605
606
607
608
609
610
611
612
613
614
615
616
617
618
619
620
621
622
623
624
625
626
627
628
629
630
631
632
633
634
635
636
637
638
639
640
641
642
643
644
645
646
647
648
649
650
651
652
653
654
655
656
657
658
659
660
661
662
663
664
665
666
667
668
669
670
671
672
673
674
675
676
677
678
679
680
681
682
683
684
685
686
687
688
689
690
691
692
693
694
695
696
697
698
699
700
701
702
703
704
705
706
707
708
709
710
711
712
713
714
715
716
717
718
719
720
721
722
723
724
725
726
727
728
729
730
731
732
733
734
735
736
737
738
739
740
741
742
743
744
745
746
747
748
749
750
751
752
753
754
755
756
757
758
759
760
761
762
763
764
765
766
767
768
769
770
771
772
773
774
775
776
777
778
779
780
781
782
783
784
785
786
787
788
789
790
791
792
793
794
795
796
797
798
799
800
801
802
803
804
805
806
807
808
809
810
811
812
813
814
815
816
817
818
819
820
821
822
823
824
825
826
827
828
829
830
831
832
833
834
835
836
837
838
839
840
841
842
843
844
845
846
847
848
849
850
851
852
853
854
855
856
857
858
859
860
861
862
863
864
865
866
867
868
869
870
871
872
873
874
875
876
877
878
879
880
881
882
883
884
885
886
887
888
889
890
891
892
893
894
895
896
897
898
899
900
901
902
903
904
905
906
907
908
909
910
911
912
913
914
915
916
917
918
919
920
921
922
923
924
925
926
927
928
929
930
931
932
933
934
935
936
937
938
939
940
941
942
943
944
945
946
947
948
949
950
951
952
953
954
955
956
957
958
959
960
961
962
963
964
965
966
967
968
969
970
971
972
973
974
975
976
977
978
979
980
981
982
983
984
985
986
987
988
989
990
991
992
993
994
995
996
997
998
999
1000
Smithsonian Institution
National Museum of American History
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Extracted on Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
The Smithsonian Institution thanks all digital volunteers that transcribed and reviewed this material. Your work
enriches Smithsonian collections, making them available to anyone with an interest in using them.
The Smithsonian Institution welcomes personal and educational use of its collections unless otherwise noted;
-
-
If sharing the material in personal and educational contexts, please cite the National Museum of American
History as source of the content and the project title as provided at the top of the document. Include the
accession number or collection name; when possible, link to the National Museum of American History website.
If you wish to use this material in a for-profit publication, exhibition, or online project, please contact National
Museum of American History or [email protected]
For more information on this project and related material, contact the National Museum of American History. See
this project and other collections in the Smithsonian Transcription Center.
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
17/FEB/1972
I exercise the bird once a day -- I put the cat in the cage.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
FRANK LIBERMAN
29/JUL/1969
THE CAT GOT INTO THE DISHWASHER. HE'S SO CLEAN... BUT
HE'S DEAD.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Jim Mulholland
15/JAN/1969
My mother-in-law is really weird. Every night she puts the cat out -- with
ether.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Bill Daley
16/AUG/1968
My mother is very eccentric. She keeps 37 cats in the house. Four
living.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Leon Marshall
09/OCT/1964
Fang is a hero. There was a fire yesterday and he saved 18 lives - two
cats.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Ray Rieves
24/OCT/1964
I have bad luck with pets. I bought a dog and he ran away. The cat ate
my goldfish. And I bought a pair of Love Birds and they're getting a
divorce.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Bill Daley
20/JUL/1965
The cat loves my food. She knows it kills mice.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Ray Rieves
21/DEC/1964
My home town started using police dogs 2 years ago. And they have
really helped. Do you know that since they started using dogs our city
hasn't had one major crime committed by a cat.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Violette Sealock
07/Nov/1964
[[strikethrough]] It's easy to [[/strikethrough]] [[insertion]] I finally found a
way to [[/insertion]] get my [[strikethrough]] husband [[/strikethrough]]
[[insertion]] Fang [[/insertion]] up in the morning. I just throw the cat on
the bed. He sleeps with the dog.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
Phillis Gag
SEP/1964
We've got a cat that's been pregnant for 6 years - she saw a sign that
said: $50 fine for littering.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Charles W. Parker
09/FEB/1965
One of the kids got the pet food mixed up. Now we have fox terrier that
meows, a Siamese cat that sings and a parakeet that barks.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
JUL/1964
Witches - curb your cat.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
27/Jun/1969
My driving is so bad! A vacuum cleaner got away from me once. The
cat's still in the bag!
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Gene Perret
07/APR/1968
I used to fight to get them up; not anymore. I gave them permission to
sleep with the dog. Now every morning I just throw the cat in.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
Gene Perret
23/Mar/1968
He won't even let me sweep crumbs from the kitchen floor. He believes
in having fat mice so we can save on cat food.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Unknown
Section of wall -- hand prints -- foot prints --dog and cat paws - Mother
says: "Thank goodness they couldn't spell."
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
LILLIAN DANIELS
09/FEB/1965
EVEN THE PETS IN OUR HOME HAVE THEIR PROBLEMS, THIS
MORN, I WOKE UP TO FIND A COUPLE OF MICE HAD OUR 2 CATS
CORNERED.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
OPLE HOFFMAN
20/JUN/1967
JANE LIBIDO WAS DISGUISED AS A BLACK PUSSYCAT. FANG
KEPT TRYING TO GET HER TO CROSS HIS PATH.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
BILL DALEY
20/JUL/1965
WHEN I THROW SCRAPS TO THE DOG, HE THROWS THEM TO
THE CAT.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
EUGENE R. PERRET
28/MAY/1968
I USED TO FIGHT TO GET THEM UP; NOT ANYMORE. I GAVE THEM
PERMISSION TO SLEEP WITH THE DOG. NOW EVERY MORNING I
JUST THROW THE CAT IN.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
EDWARD R. CANAAN
20/JUL/1965
OUR CAT IS THE FANNY HILL OF WEBSTER GROVES.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
PHYLLIS GAGS
23/MAR/1967
DOG WATCHING DOG FOOD COMMERCIAL - LASSIE IS A HORROR
SHOW FOR CATS - CAT WATCHES MICKEY MOUSE.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
E. P. STEWART
21/MAY/1965
OUR SIAMESE CATS DRAG IN MICE SO OFTEN (THEY'RE PROUD
OF THEIR CATCH,) THAT THE WOMEN IN OUR FAMILY SPEND
MOST OF THEIR LIVES ON TOP OF THE TABLES.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
CHARLES W. PARKER, V.S.M.
10/MAY/1965
THE KIDS HAVE BEEN FEEDING THE MYNAH BIRD VITAMINS.
YESTERDAY HE ATE THE CAT.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
BILL DALEY
27/SEP/1967
I DROPPED A BOWL OF OATMEAL ON THE FLOOR THIS MORNING.
THE CAT MAKES A BEAUTIFUL STATUE.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
J. GIMIGLIANO
08/JUL/1964
"COME ON, ONE OF YOU DID IT. NOW TELL ME, WHO PUT THE
CAT IN THE REFRIGERATOR?" WHAT DO YOU MEAN... I DID NOT."
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
R.L. PARKER
10/MAY/1965
THIS ONE COCKTAIL PARTY WE HAD - I MADE A MISTAKE
BEFORE THE GUESTS ARRIVED. I LEFT THE SHRIMP OUT AND
THE CAT IN.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
VIOLETTE SEALOCK
31/OCT/1964
OUR CAT HAS A WHOLE FREEZER FULL OF FROZEN MICE.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
JO ANN BURNS
14/DEC/1964
SO MUCH FOOD IS DROPPED ON THE FLOOR AT OUR HOUSE,
THE MICE ARE IN SUCH GOOD SHAPE NOW THEY CHASE THE
CATS.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
RAY RIEVES
16/JUL/1964
I ALSO TAKE MILK BATHS. IT DOES YOUR SKIN WORLDS OF
GOOD. BUT NOW I'M FOLLOWED BY CATS!
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
JOHN W. SNIDER
08/SEP/1964
IF THE EXPRESSION, "THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO SKIN A
CAT," IS TRUE, WHY IS IT THAT MOST OF US DON'T EVEN KNOW
THE ONE WAY?
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
MARION L. BRONSON
21/DEC/1964
HE WENT TO A PAWN SHOP AND BOUGHT ME MY FIRST FUR
COAT. THE PAWN BROKER TOLD HIM IT WAS PERSIAN LAMB.
WELL, PERSIAN IT WAS - LAMB IT WAS NOT.
FIRST PLACE I WORE IT WAS THE INTERNATIONAL CAT SHOW
AND I WON THE BLUE RIBBON FOR THE "BEST OF BREED."
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
MRS. B. C. REYNOLDS
24/DEC/1964
MY NEIGHBOR'S CAT DISAPPEARED. SHE CAME IN ONE DAY,
LOOKED IN THE POT OF SOUP ON THE STOVE AND STARTED
SCREAMING "OH, AGATHA!" I MUST ADMIT I HAD A TOUGH TIME
EXPLAINING WHY A LITTLE BELL WAS FLOATING ON THE TOP.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
JOE LUCAS
21/DEC/1964
FANG, THE GREAT WHITE HUNTER -- HE RUNS IF THE CAT SPITS
AT HIM.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
MRS. O. CLARKE LADO
27/DEC/1963
SHORTLY AFTER I HAD GIVEN THOMAS, OUR CAT, A RUB-DOWN
WITH FLEA POWDER, A LITTLE NEIGHBOR GIRL CAME IN FOR A
VISIT.
AFTER STROKING THOMAS FOR A MOMENT, SHE EXCLAIMED,
"OO, WHAT A DUSTY CAT!"
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Don Miner
09/Jan/1965
We've got the biggest rats - why just last month we lost 2 cats.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
CHARLES W. PARKER
07/DEC/1963
ONE OF THE KIDS GOT THE PET FOOD MIXED UP. NOW WE HAVE
A FOX TERRIER THAT MEOWS, A SIAMESE CAT THAT SINGS AND
A PARRAKEET BARKS.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
RICHARD MASON
10/APR/1964
MEALTIME IS LIKE MEALTIME ANYWHERE WITH ONLY
OCCASIONAL MISHAPS -- LIKE THE TIME I BAKED A RABBIT THE
DAY AFTER OUR NEIGHBOR'S CAT DISAPPEARED.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Sallie Bristow
22/Apr/1964
One of our kids fed the cat vinegar - so now what have we got? A sour-
puss!
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
MRS. LILLIAN DANIELS
31/JAN/1964
BOY! I WAS SOME BABY! THE FAMILY HAD TO WATCH THE CAT
EVERY MINUTE!
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Nonnee Coan
20/May/1964
I didn't worry because he stitched it with cat-gut but whenever I got
frightened I became 3 feet taller.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
MRS. ROSEMARIE DIEHM
20/MAY/1964
"COME ON, ONE OF YOU DID IT. NOW TELL ME, WHO PUT THE
CAT IN THE REFRIGERATOR?"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN...I DID NOT."
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Eugene R. Perret
02/Apr/1968
He won't even let me sweep crumbs from the kitchen floor. He believes
in having fat mice so we can save on cat food.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
PHYLLIS GAG
JUN/1964
JUST PUT FLEA POWDER ON THE CAT -
KID SAYS: BOY, WHAT A DUSTY CAT.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Name of book -- "There are 77 ways to skin a cat."
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
PHYLLIS GAG
MAY/1964
SO MANY WITCHES LIVE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD - THERE'S A
SIGN THAT SAYS: "CURB YOUR CAT."
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
PHYLLIS GAG
MAY/1964
OPENED A CAN OF CAT FOOD AND STARTED HISSING.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gags
01/Apr/1968
Killed a cat -- he was inside the car.
MM
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
PHYLLIS GAG
11/NOV/1963
NON-DOMESTIC MOTHER CAT.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
11/Nov/1963
Sewed together with cat gut.. when her seam ripped, it meowed!
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
PHYLLIS GAG
UNKNOWN
THE CAT'S COMING APART.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
14/Nov/1963
Kneeling on the cat...cat yowling is not organ music... the prayer
sounded terrible.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
PHYLLIS GAG
12/NOV/1963
WHAT IF THE PILGRIMS HAD SHOT A CAT FOR THANKSGIVING
INSTEAD OF A TURKEY.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
14/Nov/1963
Wicker purse.. cat in it.. the purse is leaking and meowing.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
14/Nov/1963
The music sounded like a boxcar full of cats going to Dog Heaven.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Sep/1964
Never forget the day the bird got out of the cage -- the cat learned to fly.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
unknown
Never forget the day the bird got out of the cage -- the cat learned to fly.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Jun/1964
Are dogs or cats allowed on this flight -- what kind of pet do you have?
It isn't that? I'm worried about my coat.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Jul/1964
I walked past the cat and petted the phone.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Jul/1964
Put cat in washer - dishes in washer.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Sep/1964
When I would sing and play the piano - this cat would jump up and claw
and bite my arms and elbows - he'd scream and yell.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Jul/1964
Deaf -- last week he conducted family prayers kneeling on the cat.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Jul/1964
Tom Mix -- an instant food for male cats.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
Phyllis Gag
JUN/1965
Confucious say: He who feed lemons to cat have sour piss.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Jul/1964
The cat's coming apart.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Jul/1964
$50 littering fine -- nearly scared our cat to death.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Sep/1964
Section of wall -- hand prints - foot-prints - dog and cat paws -- Mother
says: Thank goodness they couldn't spell.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
SEP/1964
My mink stole eloped with the cat - My mink stole eloped with the
neighbor's cat.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
01/Apr/1966
Manx Cat...tail caught in electric mixer...
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
01/Apr/1966
Cat on a skate board.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
31/Mar/1966
I haven't heard such noise since the fire in the cat hospital.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Sep/1964
Cat on table.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Jun/1965
The day the cat learned to drive.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Cat
Phyllis Gag
Feb/1965
Cat eloped with my mink stole.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
Phyllis Gag
SEP/1964
Would you stop a cat from purring etc. etc. (then let my boy steal --
name of song.)
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 08:42:13
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
CAT
Phyllis Gag
SEP/1964
I sleep with 14 cats - I can't afford an electric blanket.
Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 8, Part 1
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers