Drawer5Part3.txt

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Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY DICK/FAT
MAY/1993
PHB
MOBY DICK NICKNAMES: BUDDHA BELLY -- ATILLA THE TON--
JAWS.

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MOBY DICK/FAT
MAY/1993
PHB
MOBY ASKED THE SALESLADY
Q) WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN MY SIZE.
A) THE FREIGHT ELEVATOR.

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Moby Dick: Fat
Current Comedy
25/MAR/1991
SHE SAT ON A ROWING MACHINE AND IT SANK.

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Moby Dick: Fat
Current Comedy
3/DEC/1990
MOBY'S IDEA OF A CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST IS TO EAT A
CONTINENT.

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MOBY-DICK (FAT)
RICK GOLDSBERRY
19/SEP/1989
My Mother in law is so fat when they measure fer for a dress they use a
compass..

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Mother-in-law: Fat
George T. Marentis
2/SEP/1984
My mother-in-law is very pushy, and when she throws her weight around
we're talking major earthquake.

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MOBY DICK/FAT
NOV/1984
JEREMY ROWAN
At a costume party, she set her dress on fire and went as the
Hindenburg.

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Moby Dick: Fat
Phyllis Diller
OCT/1983
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef

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MOBY DICK - FAT
FRANK LIBERMAN
SEP/1983
She has calves only a cow could love.

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Moby Dick: Ugly
Londos D'Arrigo
AUG/1983
She is so hairy, her electrolysist uses a machete.

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MOBY DICK - FAT
BRAD DICKSON
AUG/1983
Moby joined the circus and put 2 elephants out of work.

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Moby Dick: Fat
Londos D'Arrigo
DEC/1983
She's done everything to try and lose weight.  She had her mouth wired
shut.  She ate the wire!

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MOBY DICK - Fat mother in law
Martha Bolton
17/APR/1984
She sued a smorgasboard restaurant because it WASN'T all she could
eat!

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Moby Dick: Fat
Michael Prescott
APR/1983
My mother-in-law is so fat - Her welcome mat says "HOME OF THE
WHOPPER"

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MOBY FAT
UNKNOWN
Her weight problem was caused by a throat condition -- swallowing.

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MOBY DICK - FAT
TOM OLSON
JAN/1983
My mother-in-law is fat.  She went on the Scarsdale Diet, and ate
Scarsdale.

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MOTHER-IN-LAW - FAT
TED WISZUK
20/DEC/1982
A computer matching service promised to find her a mate for over a year
she dated an oil tanker.

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Moby Dick: Fat
Phyllis Diller
SEP/1983
When she needs a bath - we drag her through a car wash.

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MOBY DICK (Fat)
Phyllis Diller
OCT/1982
Her doctor told her she could only have the juice of what comes out of
her blender - for dinner last night she drank 2 pot roasts and a turkey.

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MOBY DICK - FAT
PH B
3/APR/1989
MOBY DICK -- SHE SAYS SHE HAS A PAIN IN THE SMALL OF HER
BACK -- THERE IS NO SMALL OF HER BACK...

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MOBY DICK - FAT
Phyllis Diller
JUL/1982
My mother-in-law has the same dimensions as a covered wagon.

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MOBY - Fat
Gene Perret
11/JUN/1982
I hate to think of her funeral - 300 pallbearers

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MOBY - Fat
Tom Padovano
14/APR/1982
Fang's mother was the poster girl for the "Save the Whales" campaign.

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MOBY - Fat
ORBEN
20/JAN/1982
Fat? If there's anything to reincarnation Fang's mother is going to come
back as Gary, Indiana.

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MOBY - Fat
Tom Perew
25/JAN/1982
I saw her at a drive-in restaurant. She had 14 trays in her car.

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MOBY - Fat
Tom Perew
25/JAN/1982
You want to know what Fang's mother looks like? Picture Tip O'Neil in a
sundress.

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MOBY - FAT
Paul Batson
MAY/1980
(Fang's Mother) She went jogging and sideswiped Encino.

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MOBY - FAT
Howard Wack, Sr.
APR/1975
But thank goodness - she just got a job as a COUNTERWEIGHT on a
draw-bridge!

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MOBY - Fat
Howard Wack, Sr.
APR/1976
You've heard of Father Time? She's the Mother Lode!

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MOBY - Fat
Lydia Olson
APR/1976
When Moby shops for a car, she doesn't try them out, she tries them on!

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MOBY - Fat
Lydia Olson
APR/1976
Moby's looking for a larger model car.  She finally admitted she's
outgrown her Volkswagen.  The last time she squeezed into it, both
license plates popped off!

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MOBY - Fat
Phyllis Gags
NOV/1977
MOBY - She wears steel-belted radial bras.

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MOBY - Fat
Phyllis Gag
NOV/1977
Moby had a dog painted on her side and is working as a cross country
bus.

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MOBY: Fat
Phyllis Gags
NOV/1977
She's so big, she accidentally leaned against the ladies room wall and
erased all the dirty words.

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MOBY DICK: Fat
Lydia Olson
20/Jan/1978
When I first met her, she was sitting in her back yard--I thought she was
the garage!

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MOBY DICK: Fat
Phyllis Gag. Steph wrote.
16/Feb/1978
If it growls --------- feed it.

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MOBY DICK: Fat
Lydia Olson
20/Jan/1978
Moby was hailing a taxi in New York City and a tourist thought she was
the Statue of Liberty!

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MOBY DICK: Fat
Lydia Olson
20/Jan/1978
Before Moby went to Disneyland, the Submarine ride was a monorail!

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MOBY DICK: Fat
Robert Robusto
21/Jan/1978
MOBY: She took out her bucket seats and put in Tub Seats.

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MOBY DICK: Fat
Tom Perew
26/Jan/1978
Fang's mother stood in the driveway and the garage door opened.

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MOBY DICK - Fat
Phyllis Diller
28/FEB/1978
They say "No man is an island" - but this woman is a continent.

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Moby - Fat
Cannan-Purcell
1977
She fought a tornado and won.

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MOBY - Fat
PD
1977
Moby Dick had a dog painted on her side and is working as a cross
country bus.

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MOBY - Fat
PD
1977
She's so big, she accidentally leaned against the ladies room wall and
erased all the dirty words.

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MOBY - fat
PD
1977
She wears steel-belted radial bras.

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MOBY - Fat
Phyllis Gags
Mar/1976
MOBY: Her zipper is a part of Amtrak.

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MOBY - Fat
Phyllis Gags
Mar/1976
MOBY: She has to go around 9 times to get thru a revolving door.

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MOBY - Fat
Phyllis Gags
MAR/1976
MOBY: The lasttime she went to MacDonalds, she got her chest caught
in the arch.

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MOBY -Fat
PHYLLIS GAGS
MAR/1976
MOBY sat down on our antique chair- the next day we hung out a sign,
TOOTH PICKS FOR SAL.

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MOBY - Fat
Orben Gags
APR/1976
MOBY_ If there is a destiny that shapes our ends, Fang's mother could
sue!

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MOBY - FAT
Phyllis Diller
24/OCT/1972
She's feeling ship shape. No wonder -- she's built like one.

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Moby - Fat
John Hughes
18/SEP/1972
MOBY - It took a gypsy two days to read her palm.

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MOBY - Fat
Phyllis Gag
17/FEB/1972
Moby got a waterbed for Xmas.  You know what's in it? Lake Erie.

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MOBY - Fat
W. R. Fields
17/MAR/1972
I don't know what we'll do with Moby Dick when she dies. Either bury her
standing up or buy an extra acre.

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MOBY - Fat
Gene Perret
No. 164
Unknown
Her Avon Lady drives a pick-up truck.

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MOBY - Fat
Orben
MAY/1975
MOBY Fat? The light of her life is the one in the refrigerator.

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MOBY - Fat
Phyllis Gag
10/NOV/1971
Moby - Me to Fang: "Of course your mother always remembers your
birthday. Elephants never forget."

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Moby - Fat
Gene Perret
No. 164
UNKNOWN
You remember Moby Dick, my fat mother-in-law? If she moves to the
rear of the bus, the front wheels don't touch the ground.

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MOBY - FAT
PD
1975
Her stretch slacks have no choice.

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MOBY - FAT
Larry DiGirolamo
07/NOV/1964
She has a figure that stops traffic - she's built like a roadblock.

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MOBY - FAT
Tom Maulhardt
12/FEB/1975
MOBY  Her idea of a good time is to go to a Department Store and burn
out the motor in the escalator.

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MOBY - Fat
Tom Maulhardt
6/MAR/1975
Hugging Moby is like embracing a water bed.

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MOBY - FAT
PD
FEB/1975
MOBY -- her wedding band is a Hula hoop.

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MOBY - FAT
Phyllis Gag
19/AUG/1971
We can't take Moby to Disneyland ... people would think she was one of
the rides.

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MOBY - FAT
Edward J. Beckwith
22/AUG/1967
I went skiing with Moby Dick. The first time she came down the run, the
man in front of her fainted.  He thought she was an avalanche.

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MOBY - FAT
GENE PERRET
UNKNOWN
She sat down in Fang's favorite chair and we haven't see it since.

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MOBY - FAT
Gene Perret
Unknown
Just my luck he wasn't in it at the time.

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Moby - Fat
Lydia Olson
APR/1976
When MOBY shops for a car, she doesn't try them out, she tries them
on!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Lydia Olson
APR/1976
MOBY's looking for a larger model car. She finally admitted she's
outgrown her Volkwagon. The last time she squeezed into it, both
license plates popped off!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Orben Gags
APR/1976
MOBY's always telling how people kept yelling, "Take it off!  Take it off!"
It was a Weight Watchers meeting/

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
PHYLLIS GAG
01/APR/1966
The other day she stepped on the dog's tail now we call him Beaver.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
Heavy? It's illegal for her to jump rope in California.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
GENE PERRET
29/JUL/1968
For Christmas Fang had a life size portrait done for his mother.  It cost
$4000...for the paint.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Gene Perret
29/JUL/1968
She's the only woman I know who looks the same sitting down as
standing up.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Gene Perret
Unknown
She came to America on the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
PHYLLIS GAGS
01/APR/1968
(Moby) -- She's in group therapy all by herself!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
She doesn't have a waist, she has an equator.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Gene Perret
unknown
She once wore a grey dress and an Admiral boarded her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Tom Decker
22/APR/1970
Moby Dick - The last time she took off her bra, she broke both her legs.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
21/OCT/1964
If there's anything to reincarnation, she'll come back as a side of beef.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Walter Brumm
09/FEB/1965
Moby Dick: If she wears a white dress you can show movies on her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Gene Perret
No. 164
unknown
We took her to the zoo once and the elephants threw peanuts at her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Gene Perret
No. 164
unknown
She gives her vital statistics in acres.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Gene Perret
No. 164
unknown
She was hit by a Volkswagen once!
They never found the car.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY-FAT
Nick Busta
FEB/1976
MOBY She took a cruise--- stuck her nose out the port hole and turned
the ship:.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Dick Schweitzer
25/JAN/1965

The grand children love to sit in her lap. There's room for about 16.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
HOWARD WACK, SR
APR/1976
We use her old girdle as a trampoline.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Dick Schweitzer
25/JAN/1965

The other day she won first prize at a costume ball - she wore a red
dress, stuck a weather vane on top of her head and came as a barn.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
GENE PERRET
29/JUL/1968
Her husband is as fat as she is.  They were married in adjoining
churches.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
GENE PERRET
29/JUL/1968
The choir sang, "Here Comes the Group".

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
29/JUL/1968

She was a sight in her wedding gown. Four people went snow blind.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
GENE PERRET
29/JUL/1968
They spent their honeymoon in Maine...and parts of Rhode Island.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Orben
JUN/1975

When Moby joined Weight Watchers she had to buy 10 memberships!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
P.D.
27/NOV/1974

It took her (Moby) four trips to get thru a revolving door.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
William Daley
12/FEB/1975

MOBY The last time she left the house -- she showed up on radar in
Russia.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Londos D'Arrigo
28/JUL/1972

She's so fat, when she wears a flowered dress, she looks like a float.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
Bob Walton
16/MAY/1972

Her dressmakers are Barnum & Bailey.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Phyllis Gag
24/SEP/1971
(Moby) She laid in my hammock and up-rooted two trees.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Dick Schweitzer
7/DEC/1963

You'd never believe she used to be a ninety pound runt.. that was two
days after she was born.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Bob Walton
16/MAY/1972

She's so big - when she was a kid, her mother used to dress her alike.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
HOWARD WACK, SR
1/APR/1976
You've heard of Father Time?  She's the Mother Lode!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
HOWARD WACK, SR
APR/1976
MOBY left her footprint at Grauman's Chinese Theater and the cement
wasn't even wet.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
HOWARD WACK, SR
APR/1976
MOBY She got a job as a COUNTERWEIGHT on a drawbridge!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
TOM MAULHARDT
25/MAR/1975
Moby checked into the hospital to lose weight...they're giving her
glucose with a fire hose.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Lydia Olson
FEB/1976

MOBY In a hula hoop, she looks like the Saturn!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
ORBEN
6/DEC/1974
And she had a terrible experience on one of those scales that tell your
fortune.  It said, "You are demure, petite, and have a classically perfect
figure.  Now for the elephant that got on with you."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
JOHN P. SHEA
1974
MOBY -- One time at the beach she was mistaken for a hot dog stand.
Her sleeping bag is a blimp.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Orben
6/DEC/1974

She's concerned about her weight. Yesterday she had to let out the tape
measure.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
unknown

She is so fat -- she opened her last club meeting with "I am gathered
here together."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Unknown
Unknown
She used to be a big Hungarian sex pot -- now she's just a BIG
Hungarian pot.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:FAT
WILLIAM DALEY
12/FEB/1975
In a bikini my mother-in-law looks like a bear in a jock strap.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
PD
FEB/1975

Moby came to visit -- by Air Freight.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby Dick: Fat
James Kahlert
30/SEP/1974

And sweat! She's got a pants suit made of dress shields.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
9/JUN/1972

Her Adam's apple is so big, her neck looks pregnant.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
28/JUL/1972

MOBY - You've heard of BODY-HUG underwear -- she wears BODY-
HUGE.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Londos D'Arrigo
28/JUL/1972

She's so fat, when she walks, she looks like a 747 with hiccups.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Londos D'Arrigo
28/JUL/1972

She's so fat, she went to a health farm to have some work done on her
back forty.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
28/NOV/1972

MOBY - When she says, "Fill the tub," she means one inch because
when she gets in, it runs over.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Alexandra Beach
28/NOV/1972

My stretch marks glow in the dark.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
28/NOV/1972

MOBY - Got on a horse and all that's left if a hugh hairy pancake.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Phyllis Diller
28 NOV 1972

MOBY - Her wedding ring is a hula hoop.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Gaye D. Horsley
18/SEP/1972

MOBY - When she inhales a cigarette, the smoke never comes out. It
gets lost.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
06/DEC/1971

Moby - In a maxi, she looks like a taxi.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
06/DEC/1971

Moby - You wouldn't believe her from the rear -- it's the expensive
spread.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
Orben
17/FEB/1972

Moby-I found out how my wife feels about food on our very first date.  I
took her home and she slipped into something cool--the refrigerator!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
17/FEB/1972

Fang's mother, Moby Dick, has such a big mouth, she plays the tuba
through the wrong end.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
22/NOV/1971

Phyllis Diller says: "One night Moby rented the Daisy and danced with
herself. (If The Factory is more current, use that.)

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
Bob Walton
02/FEB/1972

Moby-To get fresh with her, you need a search warrant.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Bob Walton
02/FEB/1972

Moby had trouble finding a roll-on deodorant. The city was using it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Tony Joseph
17/MAR/1972

Moby looks like King Kong in a diaper.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
N.E. Coan
12/MAY/1972

Moby hates dogs because her legs look like fire hydrants.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Richard Shrum
12/MAY/1972

Once when she sneezed, the Richter Scale measured 4.3.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Richard Shrum
12/MAY/1972

Once while at the beach sunbathing, she happened to sneeze and it
started so many big ripples all over her body that 6 teenage kids ran for
their boards yelling "Surf's up!"

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Richard Shrum
12/MAY/1972

She went into a shoe store and came out with five pairs ... one shoe per
toe.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Bob Walton
16/MAY/1972

Boy is she heavy! Yesterday she stepped in front of a parked car and it
rolled toward her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Bob Walton
16/MAY/1972

Her Sup-Hose come in two colors -- maple and oak.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Bob Walton
16/MAY/1972

Her girdle has stretch marks.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Moby: Fat
Bob Walton
16/MAY/1972

She's got one dress so big it hangs in three closets.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Bob Walton
16/MAY/1972

Moby Dick bought a dress on sale today. It was reduced to $3.98 a
square yard.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Bob Walton
27/NOV/1972

Moby - When she bands over to touch her toes, her hands get there
second.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Bob Walton
27/Nov/1972
Moby - Last night I met her at a restaurant for dinner.  She arrived in two
cabs...and left in three.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Londos D'Arrigo
26/DEC/1972

She's so fat, she shaves her legs with a lawn mower.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Londos D'Arrigo
26/DEC/1972

Moby is so fat, Mama Cass wears her baby clothes.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Londos D'Arrigo
26/DEC/1972

Moby went to an acupuncturist about a pain in her chest ... and ended
up with a flat.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: Fat
Phyllis Gag
24/SEP/1971

(MOBY)The first time she visited us she redid our house ... she gave us
a sunken living room ... I'll tell you how she sunk it ... it's in the basement
... We have the only living room in America with a washer-dryer and a
furnace.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Robert Walton
9/SEP/1971
Mount Rushmore is her wig stand.

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Moby: Fat
Robert Walton
9/SEP/1971
Moby Dick was almost seriously injured the other day.  She was sunning
herself along side her house and her husband mistook her for a two-car
garage.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Robert Walton
9/SEP/1971
The maid of honor gave Moby a lovely green negligee.  First time I ever
saw a see-through tent.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby-Fat
ORBEN GAGS
APR/1976
Moby Dick sat down on my antique chair.  The next day we hung out a
sign, "TOOTH PICKS FOR SALES."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Robert Walton
9/Sep/1971
When her power mower went on the blink ... she couldn't shave her
legs.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Robert Walton
9/Sep/1971
When she finally kicks the bucket, the undertaker said she's so big he
would have to put her in 16 different plots.  Most people Rest in Peace.
She'll Rest in Pieces.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Robert Walton
9/SEPT/1971

She's suing Playtex for non-support.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Robert Walton
9/Sep/1971
Her feet are huge!  She broke her toe and they used an ironing board for
a splint.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby-Fat
Phyllis Gag
18/MAY/1971

Moby Dick standing on a scale at 150 lbs. "She sure gets her money's
worth."

From: THE LOCKHORNS

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby-Fat
Gene Perret

No. 216

I have a dress made out of one of her bobby socks.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
No. 216
If she was hollow, we could rent her out for wedding receptions.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby-Fat
Greg Monaghan
2/APR/1971

His mother is unbelievable. She was just picked up in Detroit for being a
UFO...Unidentified Fat Object!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
No. 198
She was once hit by a hit-and-run driver.  The man was set free when
he proved he didn't run away; he bounced.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

  

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret

No. 198

Besides they had to release him for lack of evidence. They never found
the car.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

  

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret

No. 198

She's huge. She looks like she swallowed the King Family.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

  

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret

No. 189

She fainted on the street once and they towed her away.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby-Fat
Gene Perret

No. 164

George Washington is the father of our country. She's so big, she looks
like the mother of our country in her 8th month.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
No. 164
Her right hand never knows what her left hand is doing because they're
in a different time zone.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
No. 164
Her bra looks like a double garage for two Volkswagens.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
No. 164
When she sits down, she looks like a tire going flat.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
No. 164
When she takes a bath she has to soap herself so she can get into the
tub.  It's such a tight fit, the tub leaves a ring around her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Bruce Wilson
15 Feb 1971
FANG'S MOTHER
I don't want to say Fang's mother is big, but yesterday she got her foot
stuck in the Grand Canyon.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY FAT
GENE PERRET
UNKNOWN
SHE WAS A SPY DURING WORLD WAR II. SHE USED TO SNEAK
INTO NAZI HEADQUARTERS DISGUISED AS BERLIN.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
When she got there I was just about to leave for the beauty parlor; she
said, "Can I go with you?" I said "They don't do landscaping."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
After dinner she said, "I'd like something big, roomy, and relaxing that I
can stretch out on."  I said, "You're in luck.  I just changed the sheets on
the lawn."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
For our last anniversary Fang gave me a group picture of his mother.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
If she wants to visit Rhode Island she has to go on a diet.  (OR)  When
she visits Rhode Island, part of her hangs over in Connecticut.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
She came over to give me a hug. I told the kids, "If I'm not out in 5
minutes, come in after me."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
When she hugs you it's like being attacked by 400 pounds of silly putty.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
You should see her.  You could spend a day with her and not see all of
her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
Moby when she was born.  Dr. said: "It's either a huge baby, or else it
was born without a trunk.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
Nobody on the street likes her because her shadow kills their lawns.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
Moby Dick ... when she dives into the Pacific Ocean, people in Hawaii
get seasick.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
You want to see something funny. You ought to see Moby Dick trying to
do push-ups. When she lays on her stomach, her arms don't reach the
ground.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
She's not a person. She's a herd of flesh.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
She was once attacked by the Good Year Blimp.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
She has to wear two watches  because she covers two time zones.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
She once tried to join Hell's Angels but so much of her hangs off the
bike that she was getting a highway rash.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
She was erasing the white line down the middle of the road

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
When she moves to the back of the bus, the front wheels don't touch the
ground.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
We have a sunken living room.  She sunk it!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
In a green dress she looks like Sherwood Forest.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
Once she wore a white dress and people started to stone her for what
she did to the Titanic.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
Fan had lunch with her yesterday morning, afternoon, and evening.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
Her X-rays look like a Kraft commercial.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
Did you see those big craters?  They looked like Moby Dick's pores.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
16/MAR/1968
I'm trying to arrange a love affair between De Gaulle and Fang's mother.
She's the same size as France.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Mr. Freedman
29/OCT/1970
The Jumbo jet's the biggest thing in the sky since the night my mother-
in-law's garters snapped.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
Moby Dick ... After her divorce, she sold her wedding ring to Jackie
Gleason for a hula hoop.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
She could go to a Halloween party dressed as the State of Maine.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
THANKSGIVING
Last year I had a 26 pound turkey. It was so big when I put it on the
table, it looked like Hoss Cartwright sunbathing at a nudist colony.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
THANKSGIVING
When Moby Dick sat down next to it, it looked like a wart.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Donald Accornero
23/JUN/1970
Moby Dick wears her wrist watch ... on her index finger!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Wally Reed
23/Jun/1970
People thought the 747 was my measurements... 7 ... 4 ... 7. Fang's
mother has the same measurement... 747 ... 747 ... 747.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Wally Reed
23/Jun/1970
There's only two words for Fang's mother's shape...
mass hysteria.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Wally Reed
23/Jun/1970
Fang's mother looks like a saint ... St. Louis, Missouri.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Wally Reed
23/Jun/1970
Fang's mother won a beauty contest ... the orchestra played ... "There
She Goes, North America".

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Mr. A Robert Miranti
08/Jun/1970
She got baby shoes and support stockings the same day.  She was so
big that they had to print "Pass" and "Danger" on the back of her dress.
To this day the front of her car has a sign on it ... "Wide Load
Approaching."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Mrs. Eleanor Graham
8/Jun/1970
Moby Dick's fingers are so fat ... if it weren't for her forked tongue - she
couldn't dial.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Mrs. Eleanor Graham
08/JUN/1970
Moby Dick is so full of hot air ... everytime she talks the "air-conditioner"
turns on.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Tom Decker
22/Apr/1970
Masquerade - Moby Dick's disguise fooled everybody.  She went as the
Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
Nixon could use her. She could end the war in Vietnam by sitting on it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
She was big when she was born.  The doctor spanked her and she
shook til she was three.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Ople Hoffman
16/JUL/1969
Moby Dick buys her coats in a carpet shop.  She wears a 9' x 12'.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
Her dress size is the same as her zip code.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
She has bought over 400 girdles and so far her stomach is undefeated.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
When she puts on a girdle, she looks like 400 pounds of silly putty in a
200 pound bag.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
She has so many layers of fat when she lays down she looks like an
overturned tire truck.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
Once she passed a bad check and they had to build a bigger post office
to get her picture in.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
The police asked how you could spot her in a crowd. I said, "She is the
crowd."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
The jail cell was so small for her she came out with bar marks all over
her body.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown

They had to parole six women to get her in.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
They put her in a grey dress and cut her hair real short. She looked like
an aircraft carrier.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
The grey dress helped her escape, though. Three times she slipped by
the guard by posing as the Los Angeles smog.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
They finally let her go. If she passes any more bad checks, the state will
make them good. It's cheaper than feeding her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
My mother-in-law, Moby Dick, is a big woman. Only woman I ever met
with a snow-capped bra.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
When she's done with her bras, she paints flowers on them and sells
them as slip covers for the pyramids.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
She once passed an apartment house that was burning and the firemen
saved 37 people by catching them in her bra... and they jumped as a
group.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
17/DEC/1968
She's the fattest person I ever saw. She's built like the World Series
crowd.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
17/DEC/1968
Moby Dick could play the part of Snow White AND the Seven Dwarfs.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
They don't have too much room in that capsule. It's only about the size
of Moby Dick's girdle.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown
Moby Dick: She's got so many layers of fat, she can do a go-go dance
and applaud herself at the same time.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Robert E. Connell
16/Feb/1970
(Fang's Mama) She finally got a mink coat ... wiped out four mink farms!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Jim Mulholland
11/Feb/1970
When Fang's mother wears a maxi ... she looks like a taxi.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown

And is she big. She takes the same size as the astrodome.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
Unknown

You could spend a whole day with her and still not see it all.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Marcia McDonnaugh
24/Nov/1969
Moby Dick would make a great paper weight - if you owned a papermill.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
29 JUL 1968

You can always tell what room she's in because part of her sticks out of
the transom. (Comes thru the keyhole.)

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
29/Jul/1968
When she hugs you it's like falling into quicksand.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
29 JUL 1968

In a sleeveless dress she looks like a butcher carrying two sides of beef.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
29 JUL 1968

In a low cut gown she looks like two sides of beef carrying a butcher.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
29/Jul/1968
(Moby Dick) In the winter, she uses her ankle bracelets for snow chains.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
29/JUL/1968

When she had her appendix out they had to look all over for a doctor
who could use a pneumatic drill.  She has no scar at all.  He did an
excellent job of repaving.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
29/JUL/1968

In a low cut gown she looks like two sides of beef carrying a butcher.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Barrie Payne
12/SEPT/1969

Moby: She was fat in high school - you've heard of a wall flower - she
was a "Wall to Wall" flower!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Elmer Pasta
09/SEP/1969

An artist said: he wanted to do Moby Dick in oil.  He's still looking for a
vat big enough.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
08/Aug/1969
Moby Dick fell into a barbecue pit...I thought Fang was roasting an
elephant.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Moby:Fat
Phyllis Gag
17/JUL/1969

Moby Dick has no "small of her back"...it's all big.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Greg Hoffman
17/JUL/1969

Moby Dick tried a 21 day diet plan; all she lost was 3 weeks.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
2/JUN/1969

MOBY DICK: She went on the drinking man's diet. She didn't lose any
weight - it lowered her voice.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Mary McBride
05/MAY/1969

Moby Dick's legs are so big she has to have an extension cord on her
razor.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Barrie Payne
14/May/1969
When Moby Dick was in school she won 3 letters F-A-T.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - FAT
Phyllis Gag
25/APR/1969

Moby Dick:  She was at a party and somebody said:  "Let's chew the fat"
and a guy bit her!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - FAT
Ople Hoffman
29/APR/1969

When Moby Dick wears a transparent raincoat, she looks like a crystal
ball.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
GREGG HOFFMAN
17 APR 1969

SHE WENT HORSE BACK RIDING TO LOOSE WEIGHT. THE HORSE
LOST 140 POUNDS.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY-FAT
GREGG HOFFMAN
17 APR 1969
MOBY DICK WEARS A GIRDLE CALLED "TRUTH". IT'S STRANGER
THAN FICTION.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY-FAT
MARY MCBRIDE
19 MAR 1969
FANG WAS NEVER TIED TO HIS MOTHER'S APRON STRINGS. SHE
WAS SO FAT THERE WEREN'T ANY.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY-FAT
PHYLLIS GAGS
20 JAN 1969
DON'T MOVE, MOBY DICK, I THINK A HELICOPTER IS TRYING TO
LAND ON YOU ----

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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MOBY-FAT
BILL ALLEN
15 JAN 1969
MOBY DICK'S REDUCING. DOCTOR ASKED HER TO SEND HIM A
LIST OF EVERYTHING SHE ATE LAST WEEK! I SAID, "WITH
POSTAGE RATES SO HIGH, IT'D BE CHEAPER TO GO THERE!"

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY-FAT
DELAINE HELWIG
15 JAN 1969
MOBY DICK: OF ALL THE BROADS IN THIS WORLD, SHE'S THE
BROADEST.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY-FAT
OPLE HOFFMAN
4 SEP 1968
MOBY DICK'S BRAS DON'T HAVE CUPS, THEY HAVE MUGS.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY-FAT
OPLE HOFFMAN
4/Sep/1968
MOBY DICK WAS ARRESTED. SHE WAS WALKING DOWN A
STREET WHERE VEHICLES OVER 8 TONS ARE PROHIBITED.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY-FAT
GENE PERRET
29 Jul 1968
You can always tell what room she's in because part of her sticks out of
the transom. (Comes thru the keyhole).

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Mrs. Mollie Carnivelle
5/Aug/1968

She weighs 500 pounds without her earrings!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Mrs. B. C. Reynolds
5/Aug/1968

There's enough leather in one of her belts to make saddles for the
cavalry.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Larry Billman
31/Jul/1968

The other day she came over to the house...to spy...and she was dead
tired. I told her: "Take a load off your feet.... cut off your body!" She
wears support......DRESSES!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Leona W. Toppel
29/Jul/1968

Kate Smith has a picture of Fang's mother on her refrigerator door to
remind her what can happen if she lets herself go.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Jim Mulholland
25/Jul/1968
She recently won a contest. She's now know as Miss America and Parts
Of Canada.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Dorothy Borrillo
25/Jul/1968
My mother-in-law just bought a new car coat. I told her it looked better
with the wheels unbuttoned.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
Dorothy Borrillo
25 Jul 1968

She hasn't talked to me since I gave her a bumper sticker to wear on it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
Mrs. Charles J. Marking
8 Apr 1964

They charge her double fare at the movies now because she takes up a
whole row...They usually set up a table up in the aisle for her so she has
a place to stack her snacks.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Phyllis Gag
MAY/1964
Moby Dick got stuck at the top of the escalator.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY-FAT
Phillis Diller
Jul 1964
So fat she ripples -- I touched her arm and the tide came in.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Phyllis Gag
JUL/1964

I touched her arm and her ear moved.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
Leona W. Toppel
16 FEB 1970

If my mother-in-law ever visited the Ponderosa, Hoss Cartwright would
have a new nickname: Tiny!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
Sep/1964
She is huge -- her bras are built by an engineer.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Phyllis Gag
SEP 1964

She was so fat you couldn't tell whether she was lying down or standing
up.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
Sep/1964
She's so fat - I touched her hip - and her ear moved.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Phyllis Gag
SEP/1964

Fat mother-in-law -- aiming gun - I'm not going to shoot her -- I just want
to let a little air out - she'll be a lot more comfortable.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
Sep/1964
His mother - is 3 feet tall - weighs 400 lbs. - she looks like a hassock.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Mrs. B.C. Reynolds
05/AUG/1968

Before our marriage, Fang lived off the fat of the land. His mother
supported him.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
FEB/1965

Moby dressed at wedding - T-Shirt that said: Giants - and she is.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
01/APR/1966

In Whose Who...She's referred to as Them...

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
01/APR/1966

She's so big she has zone numbers.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gag
31/MAR/1966

For Moby Dick we couldn't even find a fitiing [sic] room that fit.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Phyllis Gag
22/AUG/1967

Doctor to Moby Dick: "Follow this diet, and in two months I want to see
three-fourths of you back here for a checkup."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
R. L. Parker
27/May/1964
In her car her chin covers the upper part of the steering wheel and her
stomach covers the rest of the wheel. She has to cough to honk the
horn.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
2/JUN/1964

Fang's mother still buys his clothes...they're both the same size.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
J. Gimigliano
27/MAY/1964

Her feet are so big, her toes get cramped in a 9 x 12 room!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Charlotte Holicker
02/Jun/1964
I wouldn't say she's fat, but did you ever see a blimp with eyes?

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Bill Daley
10/Jan/1968
Fang's mother has made a pretty good living in Hollywood. She's so big
she's a stand in for mob scenes.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Bill Daley
10/JAN/1968

In one movie she played the part of the German army.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Mary McBride
2/JUN/1964

His mother was a midwestern housewife -- She wasn't from the
midwest, she was shaped like the midwest. Ohio, Indiana, Illinois ....

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
2/Jun/1964
I buy all of Fang's mother's clothes... it's like dressing a 400 lb. turkey.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
2/Jun/1964
His mother sleeps with the door open... part of her overflows into the
hall.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
2/Jun/1964
She feels like one of the girls.. but she looks like 3 of the girls.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Bill Daley
2/Apr/1968
I just found out Moby Dick's measurements. How do you want it?
Latitude or Longitude?

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY:Fat
Eugene R. Perrett
19/MAR/1968
She has so many chins she can chew her food and applaud at the same
time.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Eugene R. Perrett
19/Mar/1968
Said "My Mother's going to visit us." I said "Oh no she's not. I've made
reservations for her at the Hotel. She's in room 13, 14 and 15, 17, 18,
20, and 39."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
1/Apr/1968
Fang saw his mother in a pink dress and though he was drunk.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
11/Nov/1963
It weighs more than his mother.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Phyllis Gag
11/Nov/1963

She hit the ceiling -- and the house fell.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Phyllis Gag
14/Nov/1963

You'd make a swell elephant... your build, your memory... and your
trumpeting.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Phyllis Gag
14/Nov/1963

His mother -- pony tail...sneakers..short shorts..& a T-shirt which said
'Giants'..and she is a giant.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Evelyn Gimigliano
4/Sep/1964

Her feet are so big that the only type of shoes she can wear are open
toed surf boards!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Leon Marshall
4/Sep/1964

Fang's mother is heavy set.  She's heavy where she sets.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Stephanie Diller
4/Sep/1964

Fang's mother is coming to visit..  that means we'll have to call in the
builders to enlarge all the doorways.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
4/Sep/1964

She has four chins... when she goes to the beauty salon she doesn't get
a facial... she gets her terrace landscaped.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
4/Sep/1964

She once stepped on a bathroom scale ... now it's part of the inlaid tile.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
4/Sep/1964

When she sits down she looks like a lard pagoda.
Her head is pointed.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
4/Sep/1964

She carries her weight well.... but when she puts it down she looks
terrible.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Ed Caufield
9/Oct/1964

Fang's mother insists her measurements are just right,
36-26-36 - - that's her thigh, knee and ankle.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
9/Oct/1964

She's so heavy, she stands on two scales and adds the totals.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Paul K. Stein
9/Oct/1964

Fang's mother got a terrible sun burn at the beach in her bikini.  It was
the biggest pot roast I have ever seen.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Paul K. Stein
9/Oct/1964

My mother-in-law took a nasty fall. They were giving her a face lift and
the jack slipped

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Paul K. Stein
9/Oct/1964

Fang's mother was up for the Tug Boat Annie Series.  But they couldn't
find a tug that would float her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Marjorie R. Simons
9/Oct/1964

My mother-in-law is so big chested that when her bra is hanging on the
line, it looks like two parachutes.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Marjorie R. Simons
9/Oct/1964

My mother-in-law is so fat she can't get into the bathtub; she can't get in
the shower - - so we hose her down.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby: Fat
R. L. Parker
16/Oct/1964

She's so fat people walk up to her and say, "What are your name?"

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Mary McBride
24/Oct/1964
Is my mother-in-law big.  Once she had triple pneumonia.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
24/Oct/1964
She wants to be the world's biggest human.
Human she's not, biggest she is.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
31/Oct/1964

Boy, is she fat. If she joined a nudist colony, they'd think she was
wearing ruffles.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Martha Broadhurst
7/Nov/1964

His mother should have gone into politics - She carries a lot of weight.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Dorothy Borrillo
14/Dec/1964

I gave my mother-in-law an apron for her birthday.  When she put it on,
it looked like a patch on a spare tire.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Mary McBride
21/Mar/1966

She is so fat she's got a king-sized ironing board. Her housecoat fits the
house.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Mary McBride
21/MAR/1966
When Moby Dick went to the doctor he put on her on SKIMMED
metrecal.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Phyllis Gags
4/MAY/1966
You should see what she looks like at the beach. Charles Atlas with
gland trouble.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Phyllis Gags
04/May/1966

It was a terrible afternoon all the way around. In the first place Moby
Dick was enraged. She's so big they made her buy two tickets.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Dorothy Borrillo
10/Mar/1967

Moby Dick uses a pillow for a powder puff.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

She used to be a dancer in a frontier town til some cowboy told her,
"This town's not big enough for one of you."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

She claimed the cowboy shot her, so they organised a search party to
look for the bullet hole.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

She was also in the cavalry. They used her to ward off Indian attacks by
putting her out in the middle of a field. It was very discouraging for 500
Indians to swarm down a hill and find out they were outnumbered.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

She always rides three horses. One for riding, two for a snack.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

She wanted to be the first lady jockey. Hell, she could be the first lady
horse.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
unknown
Most jockeys weigh about 110 pounds. She has more than that for
breakfast.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

If they ever found an animal that could carry her, I'd put $500 on its
trunk.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

It's only natural she should want to be a jockey... she's built like a stable.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

Besides it would be hard to regulate. They'd have to keep checking to
make sure there was a horse under her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

Moby Dick looks great in bell bottom pants. No wonder, her legs are
shaped like bells!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
R. L. Parker
10/Mar/1967

(Moby Dick) Now she's modeling auditoriums.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
R. L. Parker
10/Mar/1967

A lot goes into her dresses --- like a whole cotton crop.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Mrs. B. C. Reynolds
23/Mar/1967

Moby Dick is so fat --- if she sang she'd be a chorus.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Phyllis Gags
11/Apr/1967

Weighing a person on an airline - invasion of privacy (Moby Dick joke).

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Charles W. Parker
12/Apr/1967

When she takes off her girdle it sounds like someone opening a bottle of
champagne.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Ople Hoffman
10/Jun/1967

She had her picture taken. It took two cameras.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Ople Hoffman
20/Jun/1967

Her arms are so huge, you feel like milking her fingers.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
Transcribed and Reviewed by Digital Volunteers
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Ople Hoffman
20/Jun/1967

Moby Dick or Blue Ox makes a baby grand piano look like a spinet.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby:Fat
Delaine Helwig
21/Jun/1967

Moby Dick - We bought her a corsage for Mother's Day - a rose bush.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Ed. Caufield
9/Oct/1964
As big as she is she just loves to dance. At her daughters wedding she
danced with the groom, she danced with the best man, she danced with
two of the ushers and one of the guests -- all at the same time. It takes 5
people to steer her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Dorothy Reynolds
19/JUL/1967

Moby Dick went to a costume party and took first prize for the most
original costume. The judges thought she was a "road block".

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Dorothy Reynolds
27/SEP/1967

Moby Dick: She's the only woman on the block built like a block.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Delaine Helwig
27/SEP/1967

(Moby Dick) It costs her a nickel to get weighed.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Leona W. Toppel
27/SEP/1967
My mother-in-law has a memory like an elephant ... and a body to
match.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Bill Daley
06/NOV/1967
Of course it wouldn't hurt her to lose a couple of hundred pounds.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Violette I. Sealock
16/JUL/1964
Fang's mother is so fat when she had her picture taken they charged her
for a group photograph.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Charlotte Holicker
23/JUL/1964
They all stop for her -- she has red eyes.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Larry DiGirolamo
23/JUL/1964
She's not a mountain girl ... she's a mountain.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
23/JUL/1964
His mother used to work as a roadblock.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - FAT
Phyllis Gag
10/MAY/1973
Moby - She laid down in the Rockies one winter afternoon and got
snow-capped tits.  She got a nasty note from Pike's Peak -- actually it
was from Pike.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
23/JUL/1964
His mother is a big pain... she used to be a small pain... then she put on
weight.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
23/Jul/1964
She broke all my wicker furniture.. with her around I need thicker wicker.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Shirlee C. Kurtz
23/JUL/1964
My mother-in-law's ears are so big she has to stay inside when there's a
strong wind.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Charles W. Parker
04/SEP/1964
Fang's mother is so fat she can't go out walking after dark.  Motorcycle
cops keep giving her tickets for not having a tail light.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Phyllis Gag
MAR/1966
She's so big - when she sits around the house she sits around the
house...

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Jack Borden
09/JAN/1965
My mother-in-law is so fat, she wears a hula hoop for a wedding band.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Martha Broadhurst
09/JAN/1965
We joined a beach club - my mother-in-law gets in half price during the
dry season - she helps bring up the water level.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Eugene R. Perret
06/JUN/1968
If she wants to visit Rhode Island she has to go on a diet.
OR
When she visits Rhode Island, part of her hangs over into Connecticut.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Eugene R. Perret
06/JUN/1968
When she got there, I was just about to leave for the beauty parlor; she
said, "Can I go with you?"  I said, "They don't do landscaping."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Eugene R. Perret
06/JUN/1968
For our last anniversary, Fang gave me a group picture of his mother.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
LaVerne Pizzino
09/FEB/1965
Moby Dick is so fat - she went to a party where you were supposed to
go as the name of a song - she went as "That Old Gang of Mine."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Dorothy Reynolds
28/MAY/1968
Moby Dick has a lot in common with the Army. She is built like a tank.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Bill Brewer
30/MAY/1968
Fang's mother bought a couple of mini skirts. One for each leg.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Leona W. Toppel
30/MAY/1968
That fat mother-in-law of mine is taking ballet lessons.  She couldn't
even fit into the tu-tu ... for her they needed a four-four.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Phyllis Gag
NOV/1964
She lost 70 lbs - from her upper arm.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Phyllis Diller
NOV/1964
What will you do when you're as big as your mother? Diet.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Bill Daley
17/MAR/1967
The producers of "Hello Dolly" asked Fang's mother for one of her
dresses. They needed a new curtain.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Dick Schweitzer
25/JAN/1965
At least we do have a sunken bath-tub in our bathroom.  Of course, it
didn't sink until the other day when my 400 pound mother-in-law stepped
into it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Edward J. Beckwith
21/JUN/1967
I don't know how that woman cooks, she's so huge. Everytime she lights
the stove, she sets her bosom on fire.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Phyllis Gag
01/APR/1966
Fang's mother is so huge...you know what she has for breakfast?
dinner.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Leona W. Toppel
11/DEC/1967
I understand that Jack E. Leonard is going to do "The Odd Couple".. by
himself. (My mother-in-law could do "The Odd Couple" all by herself!)

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Mary McBride
29/MAR/1965
If Moby Dick ever get into the movies, she wouldn't be a star, she'd be a
planet.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Mary McBride
29/MAR/1965
Speaking of fat mother-in-law - she fell down and broke an underground
watermain.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Mary McBride
29/MAR/1965
Speaking of fat mother-in-law. If everybody were that big, I wouldn't
need glasses.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Ople Hoffman
29/MAR/1965
She lines her eyes with weather stripping.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Ople Hoffman
29/MAR/1965
She finally bought enough yarn to knit herself a dress - it caused a yarn
shortage.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Emily Miller
01/JUN/1965
I helped Moby Dick mark her dress for shortening, I guided the scooter
with one hand and held the chalk in the other.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Harriette Sage
25/OCT/1963
She used to be a model -- for a cannery.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Charlotte Holicker
10/MAY/1965
But Moby does help around the house. She built the swimming pool -
tripped over a rock in the yard and landed on her side - when she got
up, we had a kidney shaped pool.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Charlotte Holicker
10/MAY/1965
Moby Dick is so fat - once she climbed a 14,000 foot mountain - by the
time she reached the top, it was below sea level.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Charlotte Holicker
10/MAY/1965
You've heard the expression - her little finger's worth more than his
whole body? - Moby Dick's little finger is more than anyone's whole
body.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
P. K. Stein
14/DEC/1964
Moby Dick was thrilled when she heard 2 guys whispering. They called
her a Dreamboat. What they said was 'Steamboat.'

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
P. K. Stein
14/DEC/1964
Moby Dick is really steamed at her Dr. She waddled into his office for an
exam and he said: "Open your mouth and say Moo."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Howard Gordon
21/DEC/1964
She's so fat that when her gets her shoes shined she has to take the
bootblack's word for it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Dave Kohnhorst
21/DEC/1964
You should see all the chins on Fang's mother. When she reads a fairy
tale she says, "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin-chin-chin-chin-
chin-chin-chin."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Mary McBride
31/DEC/1964
She is so big she was the only one in her group therapy.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Mary McBride
31/DEC/1964
She is so fat she started out the club meeting, "I am gathered here
together -"

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Charles Parker
25/OCT/1963
She was trying to get into a cab the other day and the cab-driver said to
her "Try it sideways, lady." She said, I can't. With me there is no
sideways."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Charles Parker
25/OCT/1963
She is so fat she is the only woman in the world who can get into a
Cadillac and make it look like a Volkswagen.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Charles Parker
25/OCT/1963
Fang's mother can't ride in a car. She's so fat the seat belt only fits
around one leg.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Bill Majeski
27/DEC/1963
She began putting it away pretty quick and she tried to dance and fell
smack on the floor. Got seven points on the Mt. Wilson seismograph.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Charles Parker
25/OCT/1963
When she gets in a telephone booth she can't raise her arms so she has
to dial with her nose.  When she gets a wrong number it bleeds.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Mary McBride
5/DEC/1963
She is so fat she puts on her make-up with a roller.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Dick Schweitzer
31/OCT/1963
Talk about a big mouth -- she almost drowned yesterday and it took 3
people to give her mouth breathing -- a trio.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Dick Schweitzer
31/OCT/1963
She never had a shape she could get out of.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Dick Schweitzer
07/DEC/1963
She has three tremendous chins-the last doctor who tried to lift her face
wound up with a hernia.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Mary McBride
03/JAN/1964
She is so big instead of a birthstone she has a state flower (or quarry.)

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
LARRY DIGIROLAMO
31/DEC/1963

We're living off the fat of the land ... his mother!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Harriette Sage
25/OCT/1963
He calls her Bridge -- she thinks it's short for Brigitte Bardot -- she's
wrong -- it's short for Golden Gate -- she has quite a span.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
CHARLOTTE HOLICKER
20/JUN/1965

Jane Libido, my neighbor came over to chew the fat - she bit my mother-
in-law.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

MOBY - Fat
Helen Callicutt
01/JUN/1965
You've heard of families with skeletons in their closet - we put together
all the bones from my mother-in-law and they turned out to be 3
dinosaurs.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Gloria Pack
21/DEC/1964
The last time Fang's mother went to the doctor for skinny pills, he told
her the only thing he could do was wire her jaw.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Phyllis Gag
NOV/1964
She would have looked good in a bikini - the island.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Moby-Fat
Phyllis Gag
01/APR/1966

Moby Dick
She gets in an elevator...the building goes up and down.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby - Fat
Phyllis Gag
NOV/1964
Her arms were so big - I knew she had eaten too much of something.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
Ople Hoffman
29/MAR/1965

She bought a dress with a boat neckline.  On her, it capsized.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Ople Hoffman
29/MAR/1965

MOBY DICK * She doesn't put on lipstick with a brush, she uses a
sponge mop.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - FAT
Ople Hoffman
29/MAR/1965

She won the "Miss World" title.  She had the figure most resembling the
globe.  She calls her belt the equator.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - FAT
C. Winn Upchurch
16/FEB/1965

Moby Dick is so blubbery, I call her Quiver.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - FAT
Leona Toppel
16/FEB/1965

My mother-in-law is so fat she has her own representative in Congress.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY - FAT
Mrs. R. L. Raisler
29/MAR/1966

She used to be a showgirl, but then she outgrew her uselessness.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - FAT
Mrs. R. L. Raisler
29/MAR/1966

She bought herself a sports car.  They had to take out the bucket seat
and put in a barrel seat for her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - FAT
Emily Miller
16/FEB/1965

Fang's mother wears these awful gold stretch pants.  From behind, she
looks like Fort Knox in motion!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
C. Winn Upchurch
16/FEB/1965
Moby is nothing but a blob of fat. When she goes on a diet Standard
Brands drop 10 points.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Pyllis Gag
unknown
She's (He's) built so funny-- 200 pounds of skin and bones.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
John Foster
10/MAY/1965
Moby Dick's figure used to stop traffic. Now it blocks it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
C. Winn Upchurch
20/JUN/1965
His mother and sister are quite a pair. Moby is Fatso, and Bligh is
Flatso!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Ople Hoffman
28/JUN/1965

There are so many bones in her corset, our dog buried it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Ople Hoffman
28/JUN/1965
She laid down in a hammock we had strung between 2 trees and
uprooted both of them.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
Ople Hoffman
28/JUN/1965

When she stands in front of the fireplace, it's hard to tell her legs from
the andirons.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - FAT
Ople Hoffman
28/JUN/1965

All our doorways are egg shaped so she can get her hips through.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby-Fat
Ople Hoffman
28/JUN/1965
She wears a garden hose around each leg to keep her stockings up.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
R. L. Parker
20/JUL/1965

She tried dieting but she's a very poor loser.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
R. L. Parker
20/JUL/1965

One time she leaned into a strong wind - and stopped it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
R. L. Parker
20/Jul/1965

Her clothes closet is full - of one dress.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
R. L. Parker
20/Jul/1965

In Who's Who, she's referred to as "Them."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
R. L. Parker
20/Jul/1965
One time she took a plane to Chicago - it was a bumpy trip - they never
left the ground.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Mary McBride
20/Jul/1965

Is my mother-in-law big!! Somebody looked at her and started the
expression, It's a small world.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Shirlee C. Kurtz
20/JUL/1965
She's 6'2" and her nose is 5'8".

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Dorothy Borrillo
28/Mar/1966

When Moby Dick wears a sweater she looks like a booth at a yarn sale.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Richard Sladovnik
29/Mar/1966
If she weighed one more pound, she'd have to wear a license plate.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Richard Sladovnik
29/Mar/1966

You don't walk with her - you walk among her.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Richard Sladovnik
29/Mar/1966

She left her footprints in some new sidewalks down there - but, get this,
the cement was already dry.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Richard Sladovnik
29/Mar/1966

Later at the amusement park, she went for a ride on the merry-go-round
and screwed it into the ground four feet.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Richard Sladovnik
29/Mar/1966

After we got there Moby Dick went swimming. Pensacola picked her up
on radar and scrambled four jets to check her out. One poor Lieutenant
identified her as Cuba.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby Dick:Fat
Paul Batson
29/Sep/1982

They told her she was college material. A dormitory.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby Dick:Fat
Phyllis Diller
SEP/1982

Her NO-NONSENSE bra has 3 floors - attic basement and a lookout!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby Dick:Fat
Phyllis Diller
SEP/1982

She rented a compact car and couldn't get it off.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby Dick: Fat
Regina Klugh
Aug/1982
The day she went on her water diet, Lake Meade was missing.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby Dick:Fat
L. E. Peters
Aug/1982

Imagine Fang's mother in designer jeans. She looks like a Jordache
billboard.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby Dick:Fat
Gene Perret
12/Aug/1982

ET looks like something that fell off my mother-in-law.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
11/Jun/1982

She hides food. We found a watermelon in her navel.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
11/Jun/1982

For lunch, she's allowed a salad -- sherwood forest without dressing.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Tom Perew
23/Mar/1982

Fang's mother the blimp? She doesn't have a designer label on her
jeans. She has a bumper sticker.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
20/May/1982

Well, it showed, but they thought it was a mosquito bite. When she had
plastic surgery, her doctor had to get a building permit.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
20/May/1982
She fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
20/May/1982

She had her appendix out and it was a 7 hour operation. The first four
hours were just getting her on the table.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - FAT
GENE PERRET
20/MAY/1982

THEN THERE WERE OTHER DELAYS. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG
IT TAKES TO STERILIZE A JACK-HAMMER?

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
20/MAY/1982

Then they had trouble finding the appendix. They had to send two
doctors in to search for it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - Fat
Gene Perret
20/May/1982

They may have to open her up again. They discovered one of the
doctors is missing.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
20/May/1982

I've seen her inhale a dessert cart.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Gene Perret
20/May/1982
....she damn near choked on the wheels.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby-Fat
Gene Perret
23/APR/1982

I don't care how far they go into space. They'll never make Fang's
mother weightless.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
23/Apr/1982

They won't send her into space until they want to fill it up.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - Fat
Gene Perret
12/Mar/1982

Moby thought she had goosebumps. It was her cellulite curdling.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-Fat
Tom Olson
JUN/1982

She was a waitress at The Last Supper.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Alexandra Beach
19/May/1982

She shaves her legs with a lawn mower.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - Fat
ORBEN
Apr/1982

Eat? Halfway through Thanksgiving dinner, she sent out for pizza.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby:Fat
Phyllis Gags
Apr/1982

You talk about "WIDE BODY" - she should be an airplane.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-Fat
Tom Padovano
14/APR/1982

RE: Orson Welles (C/F)
Psychiatrist gives her a group rate.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
Tom Perew
14/Apr/1982
Fang's mother is so fat - her masseur works with a map.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - Fat
ORBEN
20/Jan/1982

Fat? If there's anything to reincarnation Fang's mother is going to come
back as Gary, Indiana.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Tom Perew
25/Jan/1982

Fang's mother is so fat - she opened a fortune cookie that said, "You
shouldn't be eating this cookie."

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-Fat
Phyllis Gag
APR/1981

(Moby) She has love handles on her forehead.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

Moby - Fat
Phyllis Gags
Aug/1981

When she puts on her girdle - it's like trying to stuff a waterbed in a
shoe.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - Fat
Phyllis Gags
Aug/1981

Her 18-hour girdle died in 3 minutes.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-Fat
Phyllis Gags
AUG/1981

The only way to get her on a bus is to use a cattle prod.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-Fat
Lydia Olson
03/AUG/1981

Before Moby Dick visited the Hawaiian Islands it was a continent.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY - Fat
Richard McMonagle
Aug/1980

Fang's mother donated her clothing to the Cuban Refugees -- three
families are living in her housecoat.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
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Moby:Fat
Richard McMonagle
Aug/1980

Fang's mother was the poster girl for Cellulite.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

 

MOBY-FAT
Joe Rempe
AUG/1980

My mother-in-law took a ride on a merry-go-round and screwed it into
the ground.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Extracted Mar-02-2017 05:42:03

Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History

Moby: Fat
PD Gag
23/Jun/1980
like trying to stuff the Hindenberg into a Volkswagon.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Smithsonian Institution Transcription Center, National Museum of American History
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MOBY - FAT
PD Gag
Mar/1980

MOBY: Her measurements are the same as a 4-door Pontiac.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby:Fat
Joyce A. Massahos
28/Feb/1972

Fang's mother has so many bulges on her body, she's been picked up
for shoplifting six times.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby-Fat
Mary McBride
27/SEP/1967

Moby Dick went to a masseur, and he told her he'd have to sublet some
of the work.

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Moby - Fat
Mr. Frank Liberman
16/May/1967

She has calves only a cow would love.

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Moby-Fat
Ople Hoffman
10/MAR/1967
It costs her a quarter to get weighed on penny scales.

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Moby-Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
23/JUL/1964

When she sits down, it takes 5 minutes for all of her to settle.

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MOBY-FAT
Bob Mills
27/JAN/1975

MOBY -- We have a Persian throw rug. She sat on the cat.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby - Fat
Gene Perret
29/Jul/1968

When she takes her girdle off, her feet disappear.

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Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
unknown

She's immense. In dresses, she wears a size junior missile.

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Moby: Fat
Robert Walton
31/Mar/1972
As a kid, she was so fat, she could only play "seek."

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MOBY: FAT
Phyllis Gag
29/MAR/1966

Moby Dick is so fat, when she goes in a restaurant they give her a table
for six.

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MOBY: FAT
R.L. Parker
20/JUL/1965
For Christmas we gave Moby Dick a pair of bathroom scales.

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Moby:Fat
Gene Perret
27/Apr/1968

Moby Dick was lying on the beach one day and the kids decided to bury
her. They had to send out for more sand.

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Moby:Fat
unknown
unknown

One day she stepped on the dog's tail -- now we call him Beaver.

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MOBY: Fat
Phyllis Gags
20/JAN/1969
Moby Dick's Stretch pants have no choice!

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Moby: Fat
Nick Humphrey
Oct/1975
It's hard for her to take a shower--she keeps losing earrings at the
carwash.

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MOBY: Fat
Phyllis Diller
28/NOV/1972
MOBY - It's (bathtub) such a tight fit, the tub leaves a ring around her.

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MOBY: Fat
Phyllis Gag
19/FEB/1971
When you get in an elevator with Moby Dick, you'd better be going
down.

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MOBY: Fat
Mary McBride
20/MAY/1964
She is so fat the doctor refers to her X-rays as Blue-prints.

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MOBY DICK: Fat
Lydia Olson
20/JAN/1978
She looks like a stack of bean-bag chairs with a mouth!

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MOBY: Fat
LYDIA OLSON
09/JAN/1980
Moby's dressmaker doesn't use a pattern, she uses a blueprint.

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MOBY: Fat
Phyllis Gag
1/Apr/1966
She's so fat, her dress has a power zipper!

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MOBY: Fat
Eleanor Graham
12/Nov/1969
Moby Dick has to have her picture taken ... in sections.

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MOBY: Fat
Peter Kaikko
25/SEP/1970
Fang's mother is so fat her passport photo is a fold-out.

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Moby: Fat
Kip Gordy
Nov/1975
MOBY  They named an arena after her the Cow Palace.

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MOBY: Fat
Laura Himes
18/JAN/1965
My mother-in-law is built like a truck. She was standing beside a parking
meter and someone stole her knee caps.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: Fat
Charles W. Parker V.S.M.
04/SEP/1964
Fang's mother took her sports car down to the body shop. It fits her too
tight so she's having the doors let out a little.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: Fat
Leona W. Toppel
14/OCT/1968
When that fat Mother-in-law of mine rides in a taxi the driver doesn't
charge her a fare, he charges a hauling fee.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: Fat
Delaine Helwig
17/FEB/1969
Moby Dick - The reason she's so fat is she doesn't believe in eating on
an empty stomach.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Larry DiGirolamo
24/Oct/1964
She not only lives off the fat of the land - she is the fat of the land.

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Moby: Fat
Orben Gag
30/Mar/1968
Moby was standing by the curb and a motorcycle cop put a chalk mark
on her leg!

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: Fat
PD
1977
She's on a sea food diet, everything she sees, she eats.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: Fat
PD Gags
MAR/1980
MOBY: Her measurements are the same as a 4-door Pontiac.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY DICK: Fat
Phyllis Gags
16/JAN/1980
Endangered Species:  The American Condor has a wing span of 9 feet--
- (My mother-in-law)

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: FAT
Phyllis Gag
AUG/1973
I'll never forget the day her floating ri[[strikethrough]] [[g]]
[[/strikethrough]] [[insertion]] ^[[b]] [[/insertion]] Sank.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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Moby: Fat
Phyllis Diller
09/JUN/1972
[[strikethrough]] [[MRS. CLEAN]] [[/strikethrough]] [[insertion]] ^[[MOBY]]
[[/insertion]]: Her Adam's apple is so big her neck looks pregnant.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: FAT
Bill Mcgee. Jack Nerad
MAR/1979
On Thanksgiving Fang and I usually have a big turkey for dinner. But
this year his mother couldn't make it.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: Fat
Jack Nerad. Bill Mcgee
MAR/1979
My mother-in-law is so big that the dentist found barges in her root
canal.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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MOBY: Fat
Howard Wack, Sr.
APR/1976
We use her old girdle as a trampoline.

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MOBY: Fat
Howard Wack, Sr.
APR/1976
MOBY left her footprint at Grauman's Chinese Theater and the cement
wasn't even wet.

Phyllis Diller Gag File - Drawer No. 5, Part 3
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